Seitan, Mushroom, and Leek Buckwheat noodles with Pureed Sweet Potatoes & Kale

I'm back to school now and that means it's super important for me get all my vitamins so I can always be the smartest one in class. So for dinner last night I made sure I got plenty of FIBER, IRON, CALCIUM, VITAMIN B6, VITAMIN C, VITAMIN E, VITAMIN K, and VITAMIN A. Can you even believe there are that many vitamins in one meal?

This is what it looks like when you put so many vitamins together: 

It looks a little gross! But I promise you it was very delicious and vitamin-packed. 

How To Make The Orange Stuff: Sweet Potato & Squash Puree

• Peel your butternut squash. (I used a half a squash and had plenty left over. Which is awesome because they are cheap and they last for awhile!) You can peel your sweet potato too, but that just means you are peeling off all of it's nutritional value. Do you love your body? Your choice!
• Cut up your sweet potato and squash into smallish chunks. 
• Spread your chunks onto a baking pan and pour a small amount of olive oil over it. Bake for 10-15 minutes. AT THE SAME TIME you should: roast 2 cloves of garlic. 
• How do I do that? Easy. put two cloves of garlic on the same pan with your squash. LEAVE THE PAPER ON. pour olive oil on top and oven it. 
• The garlic will be done roasting in about 8 mins, so don't forget about it. 
• After the squash bakes for 10-15 minutes, put it in a sauce pan with a few tablespoons of butter or some olive oil. AT THE SAME TIME you should: take the paper off your roasted garlic (it should fall right off) and throw it in your saucepan with the squash/potatoes. 
• Let it cook for 20 or so minutes, stirring and start to mash your oranges and garlic together. 
• After the mixture is at a "mashed potatoes" like consistency, add a few sniggles (apprx: 1 tsp) of nutmeg, ginger, and cayenne. Fold it all in. 
• Voila.

What About The Kale?

• Everyone knows that kale is the best thing for your body. So keep it simple. 
• Destem your kale & rip it into bite sized rips.
• "massage" your kale in a bath of olive oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper. Massage for 2.5 minutes. 
• Throw it in a sauce pan on medium heat and stir. 
• Don't cook it too long. Make sure it stays fresh. 
• Top it with some sesame seeds if you are trying to impress someone. 

What's That Stuff That Looks Like Worms?

• Those are buckwheat noodles, and they are a lovely gray color and that's how you know they are better for you than other noodles. 
• You make them just like you would spaghetti noodles, but with just a little more tlc. 
• You can buy these noodles in your health market or co-op and most like your Asian market. 
• I would recommend breaking them in half before boiling,  because they tend to cling to each other. 
• Boil them in water with lemon juice if you'd like. OR boil them in a vegetable or mushroom stock. They absorb flavor really nicely. 
• When they are tender, strain them.let 

And All Over Those Worms?

• That's your seitan, mushroom, leek gravy. 
• First, cut your seitan into strips, or little coins.
• cut your mushrooms into slices and sautee in a vegan butter along with some minced garlic. 
• once your mushrooms are browned a little add 2 cups of mushroom broth. 
• now you add your seitan, a few sniggles of terragon, pepper, a tablespoon of nutritional yeast, and IF YOU WANT a dash of cooking wine. 
• let it simmer for another 10 minutes. 
• viola

Now you just put it all on a plate and eat it. I would even recommend mushing it all together and eating it.  You've never been so full of vitamins. 

After you're done eating, you'd might as well do some online shopping. 
I'd start here with my awesome friends awesome jewelry: 
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THE BEST SANDWICH YOU WILL EVER EAT

So you used to like sandwiches, but then you became vegan. Now you think there's nothing good to put in your bread. YOU'RE WRONG AGAIN.

Here's me eating my favorite sandwich ever:

It's not a secret recipe. I'll tell ya what it is, no worries.

WHAT IT IS:

-2 pieces of bread. Buttered (earthbalance, please) and toasted (a little burned, please)
-3-4 slices of Tofurky Honey Roasted Turkey (4 slices, please)
-slather on some Apple Butter. 
-top with a few Red Hot Blues tortilla chips to get that crunch factor. 
Here's a picture in case you don't get out much:

****Pro tip!

-> put the chips on top of the apple butter to avoid slippage. 

Now you have the best sandwich you'll ever eat. And the good thing is: you can eat it anywhere!

That's right. Eat it on the way to work, at work, in your bed, on your couch, in someone elses bed, with a baby, without a baby.  Anywhere. 

xoxoxo

It's time to talk about the Orange Rabbit Muffins

Here's the deal with my baking abilities. I'm a horrible baker. I'm not being humble, I honestly have never successfully baked anything. But, I never ever give up either. So when I got the idea for "Orange Rabbit Muffins" from the wonderful coffee bar that I work at, Wake Up, Iowa City. Check this place out. Best coffee anywhere, I just knew I had to make them.  One of the many wonderful beverages we serve at Wake Up Iowa City is the "Orange Rabbit Juice." That's carrot, apple, and ginger juice brewed from the one and only Jack Lalanne Power Juicer. One of my duties as employee is to dump all the leftover juice guts, but why waste such a wonderful by product? I thought, put that shit in some vegan muffins and call it "Orange Rabbit Muffins." So, if you have a juicer, juice up 2 small apples, 3 carrots, and 2-3 chunks of fresh ginger. If you don't have a juicer, get your grater out.

Here's my recipe:

--2 cups of flour
--1 cup of sugar
--some sniggles of clove, nutmeg & allspice
--a large sniggle of cinnamon
--2 tsp of baking soda
--2 cups of soymilk
--2 cups of apple, carrot, ginger guts.

 MIX TOGETHER

Then I preheated the oven to 350 degrees and poured my batter into muffin cups. I put it in the oven and about 15 mins later They were burning up my mouth. Now is where I'm going to be totally honest with you. The muffins I made were terrible. I mean to tell you that they tasted more vegan than anything has ever tasted.

Here's a picture of those offensive buggers:

So you're wondering why I'm sharing this recipe with you? Because I've done some serious thinking.

What this recipe needs is some good stuff...
--instead of regular soymilk use coconut milk.
--put in some extra sugar, try brown sugar.
--USE APPLESAUCE. Duhhh, it just needs a little bit of applesauce and a lot less flour. try 1/2-3/4 cup of applesauce and reduce the flour to about 1 cup or 1 1/4 cup tops.
--add some walnuts. Don't add walnuts if you have a nut allergy. 
--put some butter in it.

I almost guarantee that you can make these muffins delicious. Just learn from my mistakes.

xoxoxoxxo