Monday Funday: GYROS ALL 'ROUND

That's right, everyone. It's Monday, and that means gyros.
First you should go to the store, and you'll need to go to a store where you can buy SEITAN. You can make it yourself, but that seems like a lot of work, so you should probably just buy it. So once you're at the store you will need to scavenge for the following items:

-24 oz of SEITAN.
-No-chicken-broth
-fresh dill
-3 potatoes
-pita bread
-vegan sour cream
-2 cucumbers
-2 onions
-2 tomatoes
-fresh garlic
-If you live in a respectable household, you will probably already own these necessary items: cayenne pepper, salt, REAL pepper, olive oil & soy sauce. So in this case, you won't need to buy any of this from your grocery store.
-For your own safety, you should stock up on some band-aids. The chances you will cut yourself are almost 100%.

So, now you're home, and you've let the dog out and hidden her feces in a pile of leaves and you're ready to start cooking. First you are going to get that seitan soakin'.

Seitan is packaged in block formation, so just start cutting thin strips right off the side. Put the strips in a bowl, and pour enough broth on the seitan that it's kind of taking a bath. Then add a 1/2 cup of soy sauce, and a few dashes of salt, a dash of pepper, and a small dash of ketchup. You'll then leave the seitan to marinade while you make the rest of your meal. But don't neglect it now, be sure to mix it around every once in awhile.

Now it's time to make your tzatiki sauce. And get excited about it. Follow these simple steps, and don't even worry about it.

1). peel your cucumber.
2). grate the cucumber into a mixing bowl, and squeeze out all the cucumber water you can. Add both the juice and the shavings to the bowl.
**OR if you are one of the fortunate few to own a juicer (I am) it's waaaaay easier to juice your cucumber. Pour the juice into your mixing poor, and add the cucumber pulp.**
3. Chop up that dill. Chop it real good too. Otherwise it gets stuck in your teeth, and you'll get embarrassed. Add it to the bowl.
4. then add your vegan sour creme.
5. then add some cayenne. (Remember that cayenne makes food spicy.)
6. Add some lemon juice, some salt, some pepper.
7. chop up 3 cloves of garlic. To the bowl.
TA DA! Tzatziki as easy as that.

Now's a good time to remember your friend seitan. Give 'er a little mix.

Now you're gonna make some fries. Cut your potatoes into wedges. Don't cut a little bit of your hand off. I did! Be sure to throw away any potato that you might bleed on. Once you've taken care of that, Salt and pepper the rest of your fries. A little cayenne to add some heat. Pour oil on them. Put them in the oven at 425 and leave them til they are brown.

Now you're gonna prepare your seitan. dump yout seitan and it's bath into a sauce pan on medium heat. Let it cook down until all the juice is gone. This should take about 20-25 minutes. While you're waiting for seitan, dice your other cucumber and tomatoes. Add some olive oil, vinegar, salt and pepper.

Personally, I need my pita to be warm and soft. So put it in the microwave for 45 seconds.

Now you put it all together.

Seitan first, in the middle of the pita, then tomatoes and cucumbers, then tzatiki. Fries on the side.

pro-tip: pour the tzatziki all over your fries.

Now serve your food to friends, moms, lovers, or enjoy solo. But a word to the wise: don't serve this on a first date! First of all, your breath won't be great. You also will look like a big slob eating this, and you won't be able to enjoy yourself if you're trying to be polite.

This is Merit eating her gyro. She says "this is my favorite food ever."